Quarterback Ed
by Demonic lil Angel
Summary: Eds have tried out for football again, and Lemonbrooks are going to kick their asses! But the Peach Creek Cobblers have something hidden, a secret weapon... HOT CHEERLEADER DRAMA! Lol jk... sorta, this is a twoshot!


A tribute to the new school year! Hope you all do well on homework, tests, quizzes, and exams!~ (*cries in a corner* whyy.. whyy does summer have to end...)

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><p>Flyers were everywhere in the school about the football and cheerleading tryouts that Friday. Alice looked at the cheerleading curiously, never had she tried out, because most of the kids at her old school would judge her for it. Not to mention that bitchy daddy's girl Dolly, who was always the captain of the cheerleading squad. She always made the lessers or her enemies feel like they were at the bottom of the food chain. "Are you guys thinking of trying out?" Alyssa asked Double D. Right now, Alex was running late again, Eddy was sleeping in homeroom, and Ed was just staring at his comics as he walked.<p>

"Of course! Don't you see what it says at the bottom?" Alice looked to see that if you signed up, you got extra credit for gym. "I need it! My grade is so poor! An A- for lack of effort!" Double D sighed. Alyssa sweatdropped and patted his back. "Ed? Are you going to try out?" Double D asked, hopeful that he wouldn't have to endure the torture alone.

"Buttered toast!" Ed said, then shut the comic. "And they lived happily ever after in the monster's belly!" Everyone looked at him oddly.

"...Are you going to be a mascot again Ed?" Double D asked.

"Is it basketball again?" Ed asked, looked at the poster. But since it wasn't a comic, he had struggles reading it.

"No, football." Alice said. "I'm thinking I'll be a cheerleader this year. But only if Alyssa signs up with me." Double D's mind instantly flipped to a fantasy of the brunette in the cheerleader outfit, swooning over him in his bulky football player uniform and her skirt fluttering as she does routines. Blood trickled down out of his nose and over his mouth.

"Double D? Are you alright? Your nose is bleeding!" Alyssa said, bringing him back to reality. He tasted blood, but then Alyssa pulled out a handkercheif he gave her a long time back, and wiped it off. It smelled like lilacs. He sighed happily, inhaling the fresh scent.

"Such a lovesick puppy, isn't he Ed?" Alice asked. Ed nodded.

"Double D looks like his brain went dead." Alex then came, having a black eye and a few bruises on her arm and hair looking like a horrible mess.

"Oh gawd! Alex!" Alyssa yelled. Alex smiled and one of her teeth was missing.

"What happened to you?" Double D asked, looking at her like she was the victim of some sort of slasher film.

"I uh... got in a bit of a fight." Alex showed her boxing gloves and they were covered in sweat and blood. There was also a chipped tooth in the glove.

"With who?" Alice asked.

"With some kid I saw snooping around the back of the school..." Alex winced, her tongue also bleeding as she spoke.

Flashback

Alex walked the grounds of Peach Creek Middle by herself, not even caring that she was late for the umpteenth time that semester. There was a scratch on her arm from Tim trying to get to her jerky again. There was a flash of yellow in the alleyway which caught her attention. "Odd..." She looked down to see some kid in a jersey with a lemon on the back.

"Hehehe... we're gonna win with all these idiots auditioning..." He said. Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Um... who are you?" The guy turned around and looked at her, alarmed. Thinking it was a guy, he punched her straight in the face, causing a black eye.

"Oh... DAMN IT!" The guy said, not even caring now that he saw 'he' was a she.

"You son of a bitch!" Alex put on her boxing gloves and jabbed the guy across the face, causing a tooth to go flying out and leaving a bruise. The guy kneed her in the stomach and began to punch at her again, which led to a straight uppercut under his ribcage causing him to fall back and gasp. She began to do a set of bullet punches, hitting him in the stomach, face, and chest. The guy fought back, but was pummeled horribly. A shadow came from behind Alex, and when she finally stopped, something hit her across the face and swung at her jaw. She stepped back, but then jumped and swung her right fist straight at the person. The guy caught her fist and threw her into the dumpster, then picked up the rat she beat up previously and ran off. "Tch... cowards..." She muttered. "FIGHT LIKE A MAN YOU BUNCH OF P***IES!" She yelled.

End of Flashback

"You... really yelled that?" Double D asked, praying she was just lying. Alex grinned, her mouth bleeding even more now. Eddy came by, half asleep and a footprint on his butt.

"Stupid mom for kicking me out of the house..." Then he noticed the football tryouts poster.

"And they really were a bunch of little cowards." She huffed. Ed then grabbed her and began to try doing mouth to mouth to stop the bleeding, but his breath was so bad she pushed away from him. Double D looked like he was ready to rip his hat to shreds.

"Those were lemonbrooks! And they must have been planning some sort of sabatoge!" He said worriedly.

"Not that its really gonna help... you guys suck so bad." Alice sniggered, remembering the episode.

"his year is gonna be different, I'm gonna pummel those lemonbrooks... and score some points with Nazz, the head cheerleader." Eddy smirked. Alice huffed and walked off, head held high. "What's little miss snooty's problem?" Eddy asked.

"Alice... is going to be a cheerleader." Alyssa giggled. Perverted pictures floated through Eddy's mind and he grinned from ear to ear. Alex went off, Ed being dragged along with her since he wouldn't let go. Eddy went to look for the sign ups. Double D and Alyssa walked to class together.

"Aren't you signing up? Double D asked.

"Alice did say unless I did she would, but I've never really done cheerleading before. And I'm not that flexible." She sighed. Double D faltered a bit before patting her back slightly.

"It's alright... I'll have it worse." Alyssa smiled slightly and leaned against him slightly.

"I'll be sure to cheer for you more then." Double D blushed, and Alyssa had a blush too as she laughed.

Tryouts

Football tryouts were the first. Alex, Alice, and Alyssa sat on the bleachers and watched as the boys tackled the posts. Eddy couldn't budge the thing. Double D got sent backwards by it, and Ed broke the thing right off. Since the mascot position was already filled by some teacher who didn't have a life, he was forced to try out for the team. It was cold, so the girls wore jackets and Alice was recording on her cell phone as Eddy and Ed couldn't get through the tire run. Tires flew everywhere. Kevin facepalmed and blew a whistle. "YOU ALL ARE A BUNCH OF LITTLE GIRLS!" Alex then stood up.

"I RESENT THAT!" Alyssa laughed seeing the look of anger flashing across Kevin's face when he heard that. "Agh!" Alex sat back down, feeling another bruise. Then picked up a raw steak Rolf had lended her and put it on her black eye. Across the field, the Kankers sat and whistled as the boys failed over and over. Both groups of girls glared at each other. Alice got off the bleachers and began to head down into the gymnasium for cheerleading tryouts, dragging Alyssa down with her.

"Eagh! I'm coming! I'm coming!" Alyssa cried out as Alice dragged her inside by her hair. Alex watched the guys fail over and over. Double D fumbled with the ball as it was passed to him, and Ed instantly tackled him along with Johnny and Rolf. Kevin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"You are all a bunch of pansies! Especially you three dorks!" Kevin yelled. Eddy glared at him and Double D was laying face first in the grass, breathing hard and sweating harder than ever. Ed was right now disgesting the four footballs he had caught earlier. Johnny and Plank were bruised and splintered, but neither seemed to mind.

_Is that thing somehow possessed? _Alex wondered as she watched Johnny head into the showers first. Double D was dragged into the showers by Ed, his front teeth making rake like marks on the ground. He didn't care though because he was too exhausted. Eddy followed, but was held back by Kevin. The Kankers got up from their seats and began to head over to where the injured Alex was sitting. "Damn it... do they have no shame in mocking the injured?" She muttered.

"You're a shame to the football team and you always have been!" Kevin yelled.

"I can do a hell of a lot better than you could!" Eddy yelled back. There were loud shouts of pain and suddenly May came flying off into the grass.

"Freak..." Alex muttered. Kevin looked up at her, amazed.

"Did you really throw this girl all the way over here?" Kevin asked. Alex raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah..." She tripped Marie down the bleachers. Then yawned and threw Lee down the bleachers as well, tired. Kevin snatched Eddy's helmet off his head, ran up to her, and plopped it on hers.

"You're on the team!"

"...HAH?" Alex asked. Eddy was shocked, and fumed to a bright red.

"This is how you're going to make me embarrassed! HA! That girl is even worse than me! Just look at her!" Eddy pointed. Alex took off the helmet and wrinkled her nose. The helmet smelled like sweat and saliva.

"As much as I would like to put that idiot in his place..." Kevin smirked at her statement and Eddy was ready to lunge at her. "I'm not accepting. Besides, Alice wants to see him kicking ass out there." She threw the helmet back to Eddy and limped down the bleachers. "...As a cheerleader." Eddy put the helmet back on and ran into the showers before Kevin could even blink. "Good hustle Eddy." Kevin looked up at her, irritated.

Cheerleading

Alyssa and Alice stood in the cheerleading uniforms, Eddy and Double D now drooling like crazy over them. Ed helped Alex onto the bleachers, carrying her bridal style. Alyssa tugged down on her skirt, blushing. "These skirts are so embarrassing! Why couldn't we just get the longer ones?"

"Because that wouldn't be as fun! Don't you want to show off and make the other team jealous?" Alice asked. Alyssa shook her head, still blushing. "You're no fun."

"Those skirts are so... revealing!" Double D said, only half covering his eyes and blushing. The skirts went up to their mid-thighs.

"I know right?" Eddy said excitedly.

"Pervs..." Alex muttered, then snickering as Alice tried to push Alyssa in to try out. She struggled until finally the poor brunette was in the center of the gym. Nazz, Sarah, and Jimmy sat in front of her, waiting for her to do something. Alice put in a CD and Alyssa began to do more of a dance than a cheer routine. Since it was a natural reaction, Alyssa was able to do more because her clothes were much lighter than usual. She began to flip in the air, and land gracefully on the ground. The three clapped, and she blushed.

"Congrats! You just made the team bitch- erm..." Nazz's eyes widened. Alice frowned.

"...bitch?" Alice asked as she was coming up. Double D came down to congradulate his girlfriend. She grinned and hugged him, then he blushed.

"Er... forget I said that! Show us what you've got!" She said, trying to cover her flop. Alice did more of what you'd expect from a background dancer for Brittney Spears. When it was over, Eddy and Double D had fallen over, noses gushing with blood. Sarah and Jimmy had their innocent eyes covered and Nazz was frowning. "This isn't a strip club Alice! You, are never allowed to cheer with those kind of moves!" Alice's eyes widened.

"It wasn't even that bad blondie! And you call my friend a bitch..." Nazz was about ready to kick her out when Alyssa grabbed her arm.

"Alice, you'll have to admit those moves were kind of... lewd." She said as she pulled her out of the gym.

"...Okay maybe. But she could have just given me a second chance without the rated R stuff..." Alice muttered. Eddy rushed to her, eyes excited and a small lump in his pants to prove how much she excited him.

"You never told me you could move like that!" He said, grabbing her by her hips. Alice looked at him like he was high.

"Because I knew you'd make me do some weird scam involving me dancing..." She said, looking like she was regretting a lot of things.

"No no no, I was thinking we'd do this." He began to whisper some stuff in her ear. Listening, Alice's eyes got really wide and her face began to blossom into a large blush. When he stopped, she slapped him across the face and stomped off somewhere else with steam coming off her cherry red face.

"...I think we should never speak of this incident again." Double D said, looking at Eddy who was rolling around on the floor in pain.

"Agreed." Everyone but Eddy said.

First Football Game

Alex sat in the bleachers by herself still, now feeling a whole lot better. But she couldn't find Alice anywhere nearby. The guys were getting ready in the boys locker room, and after multiple phonecalls and possibly a blackmail, Alice was finally on the cheerleading squad. Inside the locker room, the guys were getting the plans to wwhat was gonna happen. "If you fail to understand, or fail to do these simple instructions, I WILL PUNT YOUR ASS SO HARD YOUR GRANDCHILDREN WILL BE ABLE TO FEEL IT! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?" Kevin yelled.

"YES SIR!" Everyone but Eddy yelled.

"And what about you Eddy? Do you want your ass kicked by me or the lemonbrooks?" Kevin asked.

"...None ssssir..." Eddy found it hard to say any kind of word that was respectful towards Kevin, since he was a total douche to him. Outside, Alyssa found it very hard to keep up with all the moves that had to be used for their routine. And since the mascot was in no way flexible and couldn't fit in the cardboard oven in his pie costume, it made her time all the harder. Across the field were the lemonbrooks, and they were HUGE! Their muscles bulged and you could smell their B.O a mile away. Some of the kids in the bleachers near them had passed out from it. Under the bleachers, Alice held Nazz captive and had put on her cheerleading outfit and Nazz was left in a ragiddy old sweatshirt and jeans.

"You can't get rid of me that easily~" She grinned. Nazz fumed, but couldn't talk because she was gagged with a sock. Alice left, whistling a fine tune. When the guys came out, they looked like they had come out of a blender. All shaken and terrified out of their minds. Ed didn't seem to mind, but only because he stole a pie from the mascot before he came outside.

"This game... cannot end well." Alex said, facepalming.

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><p>I'll have to make it a twoshot! sorry! :P<p> 


End file.
